These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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