Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
