If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
