Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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