she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
