I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
