As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
