We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
