and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
