did you get engaged???
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
