two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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