you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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