I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
