you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
