and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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