i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
