Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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