and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
