Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.

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(818): View more from California

I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

(732): View more from New Jersey

like it was yesterday

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(904): View more from Florida

I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs

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(270): View more from Kentucky

My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.

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(585): View more from New York

She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

How was it?

(1-862): View more from New Jersey

i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night

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