I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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