just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
