found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How naked do you want me to be?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
