Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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