You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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