its not stalking. its research.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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