In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
