Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
