You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
