Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
