stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
