There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
