I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Come share oat with me in your robe
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
