just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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