i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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