I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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