I wanna passion pit in your ass
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
