I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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