It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
