Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
