When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
