i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
