Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I won't apologize to a one balled man
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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