oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
