I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
