just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
