I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
