At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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