Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
