i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
