i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
