I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
