went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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