Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
