I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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