FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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