so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
being pregnant is like rehab
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
