Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
