Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
