i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Drunk is not a location!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
