Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize