roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize