"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
