I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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